The Ugliest Car-Branded Clothes and What You Should Buy Instead

I once saw a person with a Lamborghini crest the size of a dinner plate tattooed on their lower back. 

Although they did indeed own a car from the Italian exotic automaker, it was more proof that money can’t buy taste. In the world of automotive merchandise, there are a lot of tacky things you can buy, but let’s not be that person with the Lamborghini tattoo. There are much classier and more subtle ways to show your love for a car brand.

Here are five examples of terribly hideous automotive merchandise and car-branded clothes along with suggestions for what you should buy instead.

Let’s start with the tattoo example. Instead of the Lamborghini tattoo that you will for sure end up regretting, perhaps show your fandom with a Lamborghini watch. There are several tasteful examples of Lamborghini watches ranging in price from super affordable to wildly fancy. In fact, Tonino Lamborghini, son of founder Ferruccio Lamborghini, has his own line of watches and they look pretty legit.

Find some Lamborghini watches here.

OH NO. This Ferrari shirt has a hidden logo under the collar, which means that you’d have to pop the collar to show it off. You’re not a frat bro or a Jersey Shore reality star. Let’s all be adults here and keep that collar in its proper position.

Instead, let’s class it up a bit and opt for automotive cufflinks. There are so many really neat automotive themed cufflinks out there from this really cool vintage shift gate from a 250 GTO, these cute red Ferrari ones, and even these vintage steering wheel ones.

Find more Ferrari cufflinks here.

If you are even thinking of buying this shirt, the world is collectively rolling their eyes at you. Even if you’d buy this as a gag gift, why not try getting them something they won’t be embarrassed about? Instead of this tacky t-shirt, perhaps try one with a subtle vintage motif, or even these socks, which people will only see are Camaro socks when you put your feet up.

Find more Camaro t-shirts here.

UHH this BMW shirt looks like those awful things that people airbrush at deserted strip malls and parking lot carnivals. I love E46s just like any other gearhead, but I wouldn’t even use this as a sleeping shirt.

Instead of this gaudy shirt, try this tasteful asymmetrical hoodie, this excellent and subtle t-shirt, or this Puma x BMW Motorsports hoodie instead.

Find more BMW hoodies here.

Even if you’re a rapper, this 10K gold, diamond encrusted Mercedes pendant is pretty unacceptable. I mean, COME ON.

If you want something small and shiny to show your love for Benz, try a keychain or key cover instead. There is a really classy carbon fiber key cover, this simple and classy key ring, and even this keychain that looks like a classic shift knob from the 300 SL. All options that will look great, even without any face tattoos.

Find more Mercedes keychains here.